Episode 37 - Tangled

In this episode of Hard Reset, Jeuse Kastoan unpacks the knots we tie ourselves into — in relationships, ambitions, and daily life. “Tangled” is about learning to step back, breathe, and slowly untie what’s been holding you back.

It’s not about cutting everything off — it’s about understanding what still serves you and what needs to be let go. Whether it’s people, patterns, or pressure, this episode is a quiet reminder that peace often comes from patience, not reaction.

Listen now on Spotify and start untangling your own threads.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

So for me, uh when it comes to life in general, um, things are never just you know smooth, things are never just clean. Um things are never just on a straight narrow. Things are always tangled. And when I say they're always tangled, we mean there's always a weave of different issues and problems that arise that we don't account for and that are unexpected. So then you know we have to do whatever we have to do to try to straighten those things out and move forward. Um, in relationships, work, school, just life in general. There's always things that are always going to be tied up. And the way that I handle these things is you know, I carpent I compartmentalize. I can't speak English today. Lo siento, yo necesito uh yo quiero yo soy uh muy bien general set uh yo e inglés uh pero muy bueno, no that's me awkwardly trying to pivot out of messing up speaking English by speaking broken Spanish. I think I made sense, but you know, I still need to work on it. Nonetheless, um, you know, Tangle, uh, you know, like relationships. Um you could be in a situation where, you know, you're trying to make this person happy, but you know, everything that you're doing to make that person happy, you know, it's not really satisfying them. And then, you know, you could say that's a web in itself. And honestly, with that being a web, the only way that you can actually fix that and untangle that web is to talk to the person and figure out what is it that actually, you know, makes them happy. What things show them that you actually care. Just because what you do feels shows you care doesn't mean that they receive it in that way. People receive love in different ways. One person may like Louis bags and birkins, and then another person may like affection, cuddling, hugging. Like you never know what exactly they like. Or, you know, something that I feel like all men should do, help around the house. Take out the trash, wash the dishes, uh, clean up the floor a little bit, organize, you know, stuff like that. All those things, you never know which would actually be the thing that makes the person that you love happy until you get to know them and figure that out. And then once you entangle that weave, it's a lot more easier to, you know, maintain that happiness. And it's easier to notice if they're feeling uh bothered or not as happy why they might not be happy. You can actually think about it and be like, oh, I must have forgot this, or oh, I haven't done this today. Let me do this. You know, think about it and make sure. Um with work, I feel like there's a lot of dynamics, there's a lot of politics involved when you're dealing with people in general and doing your job. I think with work, it becomes less tangled when you become less involved mentally. When I say less involved mentally, I don't mean less involved mentally in your work and doing your job. You should always do your job and do it to the best of your ability. But all the politics that come with it, that's when you need to turn your blinders on. Not really focus on that, but just focus on your task at hand and what you need to do to make it better and help your team flourish. So I feel like work, that's that's really what you need to focus on. Um life in general, if you don't like family and stuff like that. I've never been really good at that. I can admit that. I've never been good at that. I've been disowned by my family before. So already in regards to webs and shit like that, I can honestly say, like, for me, I don't really have any, and that's because over time I've learned to be on my own and learned to focus on myself and you know, make sure that I'm good mentally, emotionally, and physically, and not really getting involved with my family, to be honest. Let them live their life and let me live mine. That's pretty much how I've uh moved forward. So with me moving forward in that way, it's kind of like, well, it is what it is. Um, I'm gonna do what I can to better my life. And, you know, if y'all need me, let me know. But other than that, you know, I'm gonna stay on their side and just let me know what's going on. I don't say that's necessarily the best way to handle things. Of course, I think the right way to handle things is to, you know, be involved with your family and, you know, conversate with them on a regular basis, make sure everyone's okay, things of that nature. But just the things that I've gone through in my life with my family and the trauma that I've gone through of being involved with them, it kind of just turned me off to actually, you know, being involved with my family. And the older I've gotten, now that I have a wife and a son, it's more so I want to be involved with my immediate family, you know, my wife and my son. That's where my main focus is. Everything else is extra. Everything else, um, it's not my main priority. My main priority is my son and my wife. Gotta make sure that they're good. And honestly, when the home is good, everything else tends to fall into place because you don't have stress at home that's really uh bogging your mind. You're just focused on, you know, making everything else better. Now, with that being said, you want to maintain what you have at home and you don't want to uh push it to the side and kind of forget about it. You want to stay focused on it, still maintain it, make it better. Because just because you're good this week doesn't mean you're gonna be good next week. Next week something can happen and it could bring stress in the house, and next thing you know, uh y'all at each other's necks. So you gotta maintain that and stay focused on it and try to make sure that not only are you focused on making work good and your life good, but you're also focused on making your family good. Main thing. Um response to like, you know, things being tangled. Uh I mean, I told you how I handled. Uh is it the right way? Who knows? I personally believe, you know, in a Buddhist way of you know, you want to be good to the earth, you want to be good to every person, you want to help things flourish and nurture things, and you know, don't want to be attached to everything too much and just you know, let life life and you know, just focus on being a good person, which is something that I do aspire to be, and something I do try to do with with. Um, but being that, you know, uh I am Muslim and dealing with that it's like I want to be a better father, I want to be a better partner, and things of that nature. And I've grown a lot from Islam to try to focus on that. And, you know, uh it's still a struggle. You know, I'm still relatively new. I still am learning the ropes and trying to get better at it. It's uh it's not something that I'm catching on real quickly with. It's something that I mean I've gotten better if you go over the past, what is it, two years? I think the past two years of me practicing and trying to get better, but it's taking time. But nonetheless, you know, they preach values and taking care of your family and making sure they're okay and things of that nature, and you know, taking care of yourself, taking care of your body. And, you know, right now, in regards to taking care of just myself, my body, I feel like I do take time for myself. But do I still take care of myself to the best of my ability? Um, I feel like it's still something I'm I work on daily. You know, I still gotta work on finding time to sleep. I still gotta work on finding time to eat, uh, still gotta work on to find time for you know my passion projects. Like for hard reset for this season, I was uh, I mean, I recorded season one in about a month. Probably less than that. So literally the whole time it was dropping, I was able to relax and chill and not be uh stressed or worried about, oh, I need to get this finished, I need to do this episode. You know, I tend to get them done in both. Um and then, you know, I was just like, at some point I need to work on season two, but I just hadn't found inspiration or you know, drive to really do it yet. It was uh and then even when I had a drive to do it, I wasn't ready to take that leap and start recording, you know. And then um, I don't know. Uh I just took that leap and said, I'm just gonna record the episode today. And then, you know, I just started recording. So that's where we are now with season two, you know. Uh we're recording this season, and you know, hopefully it helps others and makes an impact. Other than that, um, I must say, you know, I feel that uh we all can untangle these webs and get better for ourselves and our family. It's just gonna take time and it's gonna take patience. I'm just cast on. This is tangled. This is our reset.