Unseen Hours: Episode 10 - Load Bearing

Some weights make you stronger; others break you down. In this episode, we talk about learning what’s truly yours to carry — and what you need to set down before it crushes your structure.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Right now we're gonna talk about load bearing. When I say load bearing, I'm saying uh you know how much weight can you carry? Uh from a long time since I was younger, you know, at first I ran from it and then I was like, no, it is what it is, just go for it. And when I say that, I mean I knew there's gonna be a lot of weight that to carry, and you know, responsibility. I don't run from it. I love it. So, you know, I go towards it. And uh I it took me a lot of time to learn how much I can handle and how much I can't handle. And when I say it took a long time, it I mean it took nearly a decade for me to f figure it out. I am a proponent and victim of burnout. Um, well, I wouldn't say proponent, but I am a victim of burnout, push myself too hard, and then uh, you know, worst case scenarios happen and then it all falls apart. You don't want to burn out, you don't want to push yourself too far, you want to actually manage it well, you want to get your sleep, you want to eat, you want to drink water, you want to stay hydrated, you want to do all those things so you can stay at top performance. Um for me, when it came to that when I was alone, I uh I would just overwork myself. And then, you know, once I got out the military, I learned that I need to manage it better. So I didn't actually uh overwork myself, I actually just maintained and stayed stable. I didn't push it too hard. I pretty much just stayed chill and you know use that time to regather myself and get better mentally and emotionally and uh just you know find that peace and find that solace and relaxing. And then, you know, once I met my wife, I felt that I found that fire, that urge to push myself more and to do more. So that's when I slowly started doing it, and you know, I was pushing myself. I was like, well, let me find something that I actually want to do long term, like a passion project. And uh told my wife I wanted to get involved in coaching. She encouraged us, so I got involved in uh coaching basketball. And this is why I was working overnight. So I'd work overnight and then during the day I'd go to school and coach basketball and coach basketball games and things of that nature. And um at that point the the weight wasn't too much. It was I was thriving for it. I wanted it, you know, I was I was ready. And then over time, as you know, the years went by, um, with my wife, I learned that I don't have to carry every weight, everything that's going on. I can share it. That's what she's here for, and that's what I'm here for for her. Ease her load and she can ease my load. So I um over time started learning what I can actually handle on my own and push my limits, but not too far. So if I'm going to provide and do everything I can, if I want to go to school, okay, let's go to school. Can I do full time? I'm not sure, but let's try it. Uh can I work full time while doing that? I think so. Let's try it. I try it, okay. I can actually do this. Alright, I can I can make this work. So let's do this. And then still find a time to, you know, build that relationship and be with your partner. And then, you know, if she needs things or she needs me to help around the house, I'm doing that too. Um, I'm not having her do it alone. I'm doing it too with her. Um, and you know, it's been that constant cycle, and it's still going now. And I can say uh starting a new job, it was uh definitely harder to manage. Um it was it's longer hours. Uh it's not as set as it was when I was in retail. But you know, uh it took about a month, two months, and then I feel like right now we're finally uh finding a groove in it, and you know, I'm still able to go to school full time, amazingly. I'm still able to work full-time, even though I'm definitely putting in more hours. Um and then I'm still finding time for my wife and my son. So, you know, you have to manage your uh how much you take and how much you push yourself. I still um basically make sure that my family's okay and make sure they're taken care of. And, you know, I still take care of my business in regards to work and school. But, you know, that's also with a partner that's you know telling you, you need to eat. Uh you need to make sure you go to sleep. Okay, yeah, you want to do this, but you need to make sure you sleep early tonight because you gotta wake up early tomorrow. You know, it's uh it's a give and take. You gotta make sure that you take care of each other and you know, take care of yourselves. So I definitely couldn't do it alone and I'm thankful for every day. Um, but with that being said, you know, uh carrying a weight, you just gotta make sure that you're doing everything that you can and that you're not over put over extending yourself for whatever you're trying to do. And if you're you feel like you're oversending yourself, then you know I I made a decision myself, like you gotta cut back on some stuff. I cut back on the class, I was like, I'm dropping it. I don't have enough bandwidth to be able to handle these three classes and go to work. So I dropped it. Plain and simple. You gotta be honest with yourself and you gotta be real. Um do whatever you can, but you know, if you feel like it may be too much and you might not be able to handle it, be honest with yourself and do what you gotta do to make sure that you ease your load. Uh but in the end, never give up. I'm just cast on this is St. Alice.