Episode 41 - The Fog

Sometimes you can’t see what’s ahead. You don’t know where you’re going, how you’ll get there, or if you’ll even make it through. That’s the fog.
In this episode, we talk about those seasons of life where everything feels uncertain — when you can’t get from point A to point B and all you can do is keep moving with whatever light you have. Because sometimes that’s enough.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

So throughout my life, there have been moments where I feel like uh it's not really clear what's going on or where I'm heading.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Uh I don't know uh I don't feel maneuvering this situation. I really don't know uh how to get from point A to point B.

SPEAKER_00 0:24

I know this situation isn't ideal, but somehow I gotta manage and I don't know how I'm gonna manage. You know, I call it like the fog. Like you can't really see ahead. You just know you're where you are now, and you're just trying to go through it with your bright light shine. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Um for me, situations where that happened, it was when I first joined the Navy. Just a lot of uncertainty there. Um because I didn't know what to expect. So I was kind of flying blind in a way. I'm trying to find my way. Uh because I didn't want to go to church. Yep, one of those families.

SPEAKER_00 1:19

Um that happened, and uh, you know, I didn't know exactly where I was headed or how I was gonna manage it. I just knew that school was starting soon. So that's all I had to focus on. But other than that, I didn't there's no way for me to know exactly how I was gonna move forward uh with no communication with my family and you know uh trying to find my way in general.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

I didn't know. So that was another situation.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

It was a situation where, you know, I got the government job in Maryland and then I got laid off six months in. It's like, oh, we got plans to do this and everyone do this and that. But now I lost my job. Like, how the fuck are we supposed to even make this work?

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Like, we're not rich, so I have no idea how we're gonna do this. That happened as well.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Um, and throughout all those situations, though it was uncertain, and I didn't know exactly how they were gonna transpire.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

I still end up laying on my feet and still persevered.

SPEAKER_00 2:35

Um, in the Navy, I adapted, which is actually one of my gifts that I can pretty much adapt anywhere. So I adapted, and uh, you know, once I adapted, learn the system, learn how they do things, and things of that nature. I was able to work hard and you know do well, get promoted, all those things. But I got kicked out of my mom's house. I had no car, I had my license, but I got my license by sneakily driving Jesse's car for my license because she didn't want me to get my license. She wanted me to go to school and that's it. She didn't want me to drive anywhere, she wanted me to do nothing. So, me, I'm like, I didn't get my license, I want to be able to move around. I want to be able to get a job while I work, so you know, I used his car. He taught me how to drive a little bit in like five minutes, and then I went and took the test and passed. Got my license, and then once I got kicked out, I had no car. I had school. I didn't live on the what the fuck do you even call that shit? The dorms. I didn't live in the dorms anymore because I was was it sophomore, I think. I can't remember, but I think I was a sophomore. So since I was a sophomore, you have to move into the phases, and I didn't want to move into the phases. So I, you know, I was kind of stuck living in uh Benny Rocket's house and not knowing exactly what to do. And in the end, what ended up happening was you know, I ended up getting a job, I ended up getting a car, I ended up going to school and working. So I kind of stabilized myself a little bit. Um besides that, it was uh well and then like just in communicating, I didn't really communicate with my family much, but I also realized I don't really need to. It didn't really bother me. I was cool living without communicating, so um, it wasn't really as bad as I thought it was.

SPEAKER_01 4:35

It was uh, you know, it was okay. My relationship with them wasn't okay, but I was okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:44

And then uh, you know, when the government job happened and I lost it. Well, at that point, it was like I'm trying to take care of my son to be wife and make sure she's okay. And now I done got us in a situation where we uprooted and moved all the way from California to Maryland, and for this new job that's gonna pay more, that's supposed to like be my new career, and now I'm ass out with no jobs. So I'm supposed to do that. In the end, I just started grinding and trying to apply for as many jobs as possible. And the only ones that bite was retail, it was Target and Walgreens. So Target was offering part-time, Walgreens was offering full-time.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

That's a no-brainer. I took Walgreens.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

So started working at Walgreens full-time, and uh eventually, you know, was still able to pay bills and everything. And then once I got past that, you know, was able to use that uh job as uh, you know, as something that I could flip and buy us a house.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

So it all worked out in the end. I was supposed to be at Wall Games, it all worked out.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Um I say all this to say, even if there's uncertainty or some roadblock that randomly pops up, that shouldn't scare you. It should get your mind going and being like, okay, how can I rectify this? What can I do to flip this situation to be more favorable so we can still take care of whatever we need to take care of? That's it. Don't let it stop you and get you scared to where you're freezing and not knowing what to do and not thinking of a solution. At this point in time, this is happening. You have no choice but to think of a solution and do whatever you have to do to make it work. Because otherwise, you're just gonna be put into a bad situation that you don't want to be in. And if you have a family, it's gonna put them in a bad situation that you don't want them to be in, especially if you're the one that's supposed to be taking care of them. So I feel, you know, when there's fog and uncertainty, all you need to do is research and find your way. And then you find a way by doing research, seeing what's the best options, and then not freezing, but taking that leap of faith and going for those options. Plain simple. Sitting there and freezing and not making a move is gonna do more of a detriment to you than taking a leap of faith and going for something that might work or might not work. You rather have some kind of progress than no progress at all.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

You rather do something than not do nothing at all. And that's just how I feel. I'm just gastone. And this is our research.