Episode 42 - The Fall

Everyone celebrates the climb. But nobody talks about what happens after you reach the top.
In this episode, we get into the other side of achievement — the fall. What happens when the rush fades, when you stop performing at your peak, or when life humbles you after you gave everything you had? From personal experience, we break down what it really means to recalibrate after a fall and ask the harder question: was it all actually worth it, or do you just feel empty?
Because the fall isn’t the end. It’s where the real reset begins.

Transcript

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What we're gonna talk about today is the moment when you reach that high, whenever you reach that goal that you were going for, and you achieve what you were you set out to do from the beginning. And then once you achieve that and the death tells, you know, you get that little rush and you're like, yeah, I did it. What about afterwards? After you achieve what you want and you reach your peak? What about whenever you inevitably fall? What about that? You know, you done everything you can, you received whatever accolade you were going for, or you got that promotion that you wanted. And then what happens when you start to fall off a little bit? You don't perform as well as you used to. God forbid you lose your job or something like that. Like what happens when that happens? Well, I can tell you from my own experience that whenever you go through something like that, that's very humbling. And then you have to recalibrate. Was working on working that hard and doing all that extra work worth it? Was there everything that I actually wanted? Was the payoff worth it? Like is this actually something that I did, I enjoyed, and now I'm enjoying the fruits of my labor and I actually enjoy it? Or do I feel empty? Do I feel low? Do I feel like, you know, after doing all this, I'm not happy. Now when you go to something like that, I can say for me, it it uh it it basically stirred a whole shift. Mentally, emotionally, uh shifted. So like you know, I achieved all this and it's all great. I got gains from it, but I'm still not happy. And not in a sense of like I'm not happy with Ryan Man because you know I achieved this, now I need to go get more. It's not really that. It's uh I'm not really content. I'm not necessarily happy in general after all of this. So when you feel that way, that's when you gotta realize more than likely you were doing it for the wrong reasons or the reasons you were initially doing it, it possibly changed. So now it's not uh it doesn't hold as much weight as it did before. For me, once I was achieving all these things, and after it was all over, I can't say I was necessarily happy. Now, when I was achieving all these things and I was helping pay for my mom's house and stuff like that, and help out and stuff like that, it was worth it, it was great. You know, I felt good. But at some point, you know, I had I stopped uh helping her and stopped paying for the house and everything. So then at that point, I lost the uh the why. So at that point I was just doing it just to do it, just to you know, maintain and you know, keep a good standing, look good, uh just to win in general. That's not really a great space to be at. Because you're not doing it for a cause or a purpose bigger than yourself, you're doing it for self-gain. And then once you're doing it for self-gain, you kinda even if you achieve whatever you achieve, you just don't care anymore. So then, you know, you gotta recalibrate, you gotta switch it up. You gotta think about it. Okay, do I still want to achieve great things? Yes. Do I still want to be the best? Yes. But why? If it's for material things, that's cool. But it's not gonna last. You'll be able to buy nice stuff. But you're still not gonna be happy. You're just gonna wanna buy more stuff. And then what's gonna happen once you get over buying stuff? It's not gonna make you any happier. So for me, I had to think about exactly what I'm doing this for and why. So it uh you know, after achieving all these things, I went through a period for a few years where I was just like, you know, and I'm not even trying to be the best at anything, I'm not even trying to, you know, stand out or be seen as that guy. I'm just trying to go to work, do my job, and go home. That's it. Now, with that being said, a person like me, I love challenges and I love learning new things. So, in essence, I'm still gonna be good at my job and still become pretty efficient at whatever I'm doing. But that's because I myself, I just love learning new things and being good at stuff. So that's the only reason why. No other reason. And with that, I was satisfied, I was happy. I got promoted, you know, in manufacturing, and then I was like, no, this is cool, I don't mind it. And it wasn't with like people just like all over me, loving me and being like, oh, you're the best. It was like no one's like, hey man, you uh you're doing pretty good. Do you want this position? It's like, sure. Okay, and that's it. I still had haters, of course, but I didn't really care about that. I was just like, well, definitely promotion is more money, so why not fuck it? So I did. And that's a different headspace than where I was before in the military, where I was like working hard, trying to get the best Eval, hoping that they like it, hoping that they uh they like me, I guess. And then, you know, once I'm getting these awards and stuff like that, it's like, okay, cool. You know, they uh they start to fuck with me, they like me, they trust me, and then the people that I work with being unhappy. But like I said, I've told you before in previous episodes, you're always gonna have haters. Um and then, you know, once you know you're you're caring about that validation and caring about making people happy, then it's like there's a pressure that you know you can't make a mistake or mess up or fall out of line at any point in time. So, you know, I'm happy and everything, but I'm feeling a little more scrutiny, I guess you could say. And now when I make a mistake, it is seen as bigger than if someone else who works mediocre makes a mistake because you know I'm supposed to be that guy that sets the example. So the fact that uh I make a mistake, it's a big deal. And then at that point, you know, I become unhappy because I don't feel like I'm gonna just live freely. I have to live with the pressure of making no mistakes. Now, I mean, I really don't care. Um, I don't care about making mistakes, I don't mind making mistakes. Uh I don't care about looking good, neither love me or hate me. For whatever reason, I'm polarizing enough to where people have an opinion on me even without ever meeting me. I don't understand it, don't get it, but I roll with it. And in the end, I'm just gonna be me and be happy with who I am. If I'm out there trying to be a good person and take care of people, then I don't mind if you dislike me. I don't mind if you uh choose to treat me a certain way. I just don't care. It doesn't affect me. Am I doing what I can to be a good person today? Am I doing what I can to be the best worker I can be? Yeah, okay then. That's it. I don't need outside validation, I don't need others telling me good job. Uh I don't I don't need any of that. All I need to do is just go in, do my thing, be good to people, and go home. And it still doesn't mean that since I'm doing that, that I'm like being mediocre or averaging at my job. I'm still aiming to be the best at my job, but it's not to be better than anybody, it's not to you know put myself above anybody. It's strictly because I just want to be good at my job and do my best. That's it. It's a different mindset than I was before. Before I was competing. Now I was competing, I mean, mainly because of evals, but even then, I was competing because I wanted to be better than everybody I was working against. Which is why I went and did all that extra stuff. I was trying to outdo them. And then it got to the point where I wasn't trying to outdo them, I was trying to maintain because I was already a hit. At this point in time, I'm not trying to outdo anybody, I'm not trying to maintain anything, I'm just trying to do my best and keep moving. And when you have that kind of mindset, you're a lot more happier because it's less pressure, just less that is added to it. So I feel that's the best way to approach it. You know, whenever you're doing your best and you're achieving whatever you can. That was unexpected. Um, yeah, but when you're doing your best and doing whatever you can, you know, you don't have to worry about a fall or a fall off. Like, none of that shit matters. You don't care about falling off. You just care about being a good person and doing your job. To you, there's no, oh yeah, I was up here and now you know I'm down here doing this. No, it's just, I am just living my life. I'm happy. I used to do this back in the day, now I do this, you know. I'm happy, I'm chill. There's no fall off, no nothing. It's literally just existing and being happy. And to me, that's the best way to approach things, and that's the best way to live. I'm Juice Gastone, and this is Heart Reset.