Episode 49 - Letting Go Of Your Dreams

Letting go of a dream doesn’t mean giving up on it forever.
In this episode, we talk about the hard but necessary act of releasing what you want — for now. Sometimes the dream you’re chasing isn’t wrong, it’s just not for this season. From wanting a Mustang and settling into a ‘91 Cadillac first, to still waiting on that house with acreage — the lesson is the same. You may think you’re ready, but the universe has different timing. Letting go isn’t defeat. It’s recalibrating so you can come back when the time is actually right.
The dream isn’t dead. You’re just not ready yet — and that’s okay.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Sometimes you have to let go of the dream and recalibrate. It might not be serving you. That dream you want. That thing you're so desperately going for. It may not be what's best for you right now. In this time or season. Um, I can give an example. When I was younger, I wanted to uh say I wanted to have a Mustang, right? And I always wanted to have a nice car. My first car. It wasn't a nice car, it was a 1991 Cadillac Bill. Did I settle? I didn't settle. It was just another car that I wanted. It was a it was an old school car in other old schools. So I got that car. I still felt good. And then eventually what happened was in the next year or two, I ended up getting a Mustang. I ended up getting a pass car. So I'm saying that to say, when you let go of your dreams, it's not that you're letting them go permanently. It's that you're letting them go for that time being until the time is right in your life that you can achieve those dreams. When you are ready. Sometimes the things that you want, you're not really ready for. You may think you are. You may think that you can handle it. But as I've learned, sometimes the universe has different plans. To what you think that you want, what you think you're ready for. You're probably not. Um I've always wanted a big house. Well, not a big house. Modest. A modest house, but I want an acreage, you know, a lot of yard, a fence, you know, somewhere when I have children, pets, you know, they can just run around. And I still haven't gotten that yet. But be ready to take on the responsibility. So, um, you know, I keep working and I keep saving and doing what I have to make sure I'm good now. You know, some more dreams of mine. I actually had dreams of you know what? Um you know, going to school, finishing my degree. And then the next one was, you know, I wanna be a proponent of higher learning. So it wasn't always a dream of mine, but I realized a goal of mine was to get an MBA. So, you know, I applied and I went to uh actually I got accepted to two Ivy League schools. And then um, once I got accepted into those schools, you know, I picked the one that was best for me and my family. And then um, while I was there, I realized it's not all that it's cracked up to be. There are benefits to going. I would never say not to go. But I know for me it wasn't the right choice for me. I realized that the student body I was going with, these are very uh, very privileged, very elite students. And I wouldn't say they perform elite, I would say that their mentality is more elitist. Cause I don't believe that a master's program is so grueling that everyone can't do it. I believe anyone can do it as long as they focus and they put their mind to it. After going to the side of these school. So I was doing pretty well in it actually. And then um midway through it, some of the classes, their group, um the classes where they put you in groups. And then I realized that just me being accepted wasn't enough. Um the world doesn't look at you different. You know, I can be uh NBA grad from Yale in the end I'm still a nigga, right? Um but these students uh they still treat me different, even when, you know, I'm on the same level playing field as y'all. And uh I didn't feel the respect there that I felt I should have. Um you know this uh it's something you pick up on, and then you realize you do well in the class, or at least you think you're doing well, but then the grade that you get isn't as good. And you realize it's because of peer review of what your groupmates are saying about you. Now I don't know anything about all these students, but I do know I'm one of the few in the program that's not super young, you know, I'm 38, and I'm one of the few in a program that's actually had leadership experience through my jobs. Not all these students have actually been put in leadership roles, but when you're in each group and you get these peer reviews, they're questioning your ability as a leader in the group. And when they question your ability as a leader in a group and your effort in the group, that can affect your grade. And I realize that this is a situation where I can't really control my destiny fully because if I if I was to do it, I would have to change who I am and change how I act towards these people just so I could get a good grade. And that's just not something I'm into. It's not who I am. Honestly, I feel like I'm too old to be trying to change myself just to fit in with people to get validation from people I don't know, just to get a degree. So, you know, I made the decision, but you know, some other things on top of it. I was like, you know, I'm gonna transfer and I'm gonna go to a school where I don't have to worry about how I'm acting towards these other students in my group and worry about them giving me a bad grade and potentially affecting the grade I'll get. And I say the same. I'm not a bad groupmate. I don't treat people badly, I treat people nicely, I treat people with respect. I don't talk down on people, I don't uh shoot down people's ideas, I'm supportive. That's who I am. But um meaning who I am, and the groupmates that you're with, they don't look like you. And y'all don't come from the same background, they um they tend to treat you differently. Their expectations of you change. Now I can overcompensate and try to make it work and try to do what I can to make sure they like me, but I don't say I'm too old for that. I don't care. There's many routes to get to where you want to go and make money. You don't have to change who you are and change the person you're being just so you can be accepted. If you had to change who you are to be accepted, you probably shouldn't be there. Plain and simple. So um, I transferred. And now, since I've transferred, I'm in line to finish my degree, probably a year or two earlier than if I had stayed at that Ivy League school. Still the same degree. It's just a different school. The pedigree, you can say the pedigree is different, it's not Ivy League, but it's not gonna, it's not gonna affect where I'm going. It's not gonna affect what I'm trying to achieve. It's not going to affect the jobs that I'm going for. Because the jobs that I'm going for, that degree particularly, is not gonna affect where I'm aiming. So I'm not going into consulting. I'm not trying to go into the big four, I'm not trying to go into investment banking. Those all sound cool, but they're not they're not my main goal. I don't care about them. I realize what I love is manufacturing. Hell, even if I want to go back into retail, you don't need an Ivy League degree. You just need that degree. So I let go of that. I'll let go of that school. That's what worked for me. It's not gonna work for everyone, but for me, I feel that was the best decision. Um, I had dreams of, you know, making music and one day becoming big, and you know, me and my friends, we would all, you know, be seeing the fruits of our labor and celebrating together and things of that nature. Then I realized that's just not gonna happen. They're not they probably don't love music like I do. Or not even that, if they do love music, it's not even that they don't love it like I do. They probably don't love the idea of creating and marketing and putting it out to the masses like I do. I love that aspect of it. And they don't. So in the end, if they're not uh naturally trying to do things that I'm doing to try to push it and get it out there, then what exactly am I doing? So at some point I just let go of that dream, and I was like, you know what? This is something I really want, but it's not gonna happen. I gotta do it myself. So started making music of my own and releasing it on my own. And I am where I am now, you know, five, six albums and over a hundred thousand streams. So, um I say all this to say letting go of your dreams isn't necessarily a bad thing. It probably is a good thing, it realigns you. But also it may not be the time for that dream to manifest yet. Maybe there's still some things that you have to do to get to that dream. So while you do want that dream, maybe you should let that go and focus on the now, what you need to do to get yourself in position, so maybe in the future you can achieve that dream, or at least uh achieve a portion of that dream. I'm just gonna so this is how we said.